A Letter From The Future To The Old Me

 Dear Me,

First and foremost, I hope you would not be too surprised when you find this letter tucked nicely between your collections of Famous Five Series. I knew that it would be the best place to put this special letter because I knew for a fact that those detective series were your most prized collection for the time being and you would rather die than to lose any of those precious books after you received them as your gift for the Smart Reader Competition.

You might be wondering how on earth would I know that, right? Well, prepare yourself for the shock of your life. Alright, drum roll please, tadaa! I am you and you are me! Confused? Hmm, to make things easier for you, I am you 60 years from now. Yes, you read this correctly and I can assure you that this is not a joke. You might think that this is impossible but please, please read this letter until the end and then you may choose whether to believe me or not.

I am now 72 years old and two years ago, a couple of unknown scientists from Malaysia managed to create a very useful device called Super Teleportation machine. Yes, you may laugh at the lame name, I found it very silly as well. However,   the two scientists were my ex-students and when they presented their so-called creative idea to all the top universities in the world, no one thought that this idea would work. Some of the professors and historians were even concerned about the effect of this device because nobody knew the impact and domino effect of changing something relatively small and how it would transform the world we live in right now.

Finally, after a huge failure in convincing these smart people, my ex-students came back to my place since they had nowhere to go, revised their blueprint and did some extra research and tests. After two years of trial and error, they said that the device was finally ready. However, due to the tight budget, they could only try to test the device one time, without ever knowing whether their invention would be successful or not. 

Then, as I expected, they argued on what they would do with the device. Which event they would change? Could they manage to stop World War I or World War II? Things got out of hand until I stepped in and gave my opinion. Changing something big like stopping a war would be suicidal, who knew what would happen if Hitler was kept alive or the Japanese reigned supreme. So, I told them not to change any big events because the result might be too catastrophic and in the end, I volunteered myself to be their subject and there you have it! My own personal letter to the old me and that’s you, obviously.

I chose to write a letter to the past me, when I was just about 12. That year, if I remembered correctly, was the year I took the UPSR exam. Don’t get too excited, I would not reveal anything on the questions and how you would fare in the exam because I didn’t want to ruin the surprise for you, ha ha! But, there was one thing that I would really want to tell you. After you got your results, you must remember and promise me this one little thing. Whatever the result might be, no matter how hard Mom and Dad begged, asked and finally instructed you, put your feet down firmly, my dear, and say that you want to stay with your family and go to school with your siblings. Do not ask why, just do what I asked you to do and I promised you, life would be better.

Another thing which I would like you to do is to pursue your passion to be a gymnast. I knew doing gymnastics was one of the highlights of your life and you were really happy when you won last year right? Even though it was only a school-level competition, it was one of the moments that you would remember and cherish forever. I knew Dad specifically asked you to forget about gymnastics and focused more on your studies but somehow, I need you to try and make things work. You need to try really hard to balance your passion and your studies, produce excellent results in your exams and make Dad change his mind. I promise you that this is something that you would not regret. If it went well, please pursue your passion right through secondary school and prove to yourself how good you could be if you put your mind and effort on doing this wholeheartedly. 

I couldn’t imagine how my life would change if you really followed my instructions above but if in any part of your life later on and you met someone with curly hair, a cute set of dimples and a smile to kill for, please give this person more attention than you wanted to at that time. Don’t worry, you would know exactly that he would be the one because the first time you saw him, his eyes made your heart skipped a beat. Sure, you might feel that everything was too good to be true or the nasty things that those nosy girls said might have gotten into your head at some point but you have to take my word for this, gave him a chance to say something and who knows what that could lead to.

I should not say too much and who knew how effective this device would be so I think I should stop here. They said I should think of a place where my letter would be safe, a place where there would be the highest chance of this letter to be read by the younger version of me and I also needed to choose the time of deliverance carefully, so as to ensure that this letter would bring some sort of impact to the one I chose to write to. With that in mind, I end this letter with hope that it managed to reach the right person and you would believe everything that I wrote and when the time comes, you would know what to do.

Best wishes in your future undertakings!

                                                                                                                  With love,

                                                                                                                       Me

The Ranking

He hated these two words - 'top three'. That's all. He hated the fact that in every competition, in any rankings or even in stupid silly games, people will always look for the 'top three'. Yep, sure.. the champion is important but why must there be only two runner-ups? How about three runner-ups? Or four? Or five?

'Stop it! It's just a silly ranking for goodness sake!' His mind is practically screaming to him right now. He just hated the fact that he was always and would always NOT be the top 3 in any ranking, ever. The top 3 vocalists? KRY practically covered that part. The top 3 dancers? Even with the Chinese Prince gone, he still did not manage to snag even the third spot. The top 3 MCs? Really? With his turbo-tongue leader and his two proteges non-stop bantering, complete with neat retorts.. well,he might as well be born mute for all he care.

The worse part was the fact that he hated losing. He hated the feeling of being a nobody instead of being a remarkable 'somebody'. He hated the way he tortured his mind and his body of countless extra practices, just to be as good as some people who plays games or cooks or watches videos during their free time.  He hated all the variety shows that he had to do, especially when some of the MCs still made mistakes when they called his name. It was a good thing that they did apologize and he accepted it with a smile but sometimes he wished that they would make mistakes calling the other members' names too, not his name all the time. He really felt that it was an insult, especially when his group members and him had just celebrated their fifth year of debut together.

When he started training a few years ago, he promised his parents that he would be the best so that they would be proud of him. Well, easier said than done... It has been more than 5 years now and where is his so-called achievements? A big fat zero...

"I don't understand why you must think that everything is like a competition.  Is being the top 3 that important to you?" 

"Of course it does matter to me! I know you would not understand because you are always at the top! With your superb voice, everything is easy for you!"

"Nothing is easy for me, or anyone else for that matters... you of all people should know that everything comes with a price. In order to gain something we must sacrifice other things as well. You taught me that and now you want to play the sympathy card?"

"Maybe I'm just tired... maybe I don't know where my spot is right now or maybe I just don't care anymore. I'm and will always be mediocre, yes not great.. just plainly good but never great..." 

That made the younger looked away from his PSP and that was something worth mentioning since he would never, ever put down his PSP even if the world was ending.

"You have always been great and everyone around you knows that. Your concentration and full commitment in doing something amazes people. Your unique ability to learn something new in just a short time and making sure that everything is perfect is simply remarkable..."

"But... "

"It's just sad, you know,  that you view all your personal achievements by comparing yourself to others on things that you know there will be someone else who is better in it than you do. It's just so frustrating that you would purposely choose to challenge and to rank your own so-called 'pathetic' life on things that you KNOW some people are just BORN with..."

"You don't understand.."

"I may be younger than you but I understand, all right. I understand that everyone is special. You are special. You family knows how special you are. Your friends obviously  love you for YOU.  How do you rank these special people who are equally important in your life? You couldn't, right?"

Those painful words pierced right through his stubborn heart, which was actually, extremely fragile on the inside and that fragile heart ultimately crumbled when guilt seeped in with  his best friend's emotional epiphany.

"I don't know about you but what I know for sure is that if I really love someone wholeheartedly, if that person is that special to ME, that person will always be on the top spot, the highest rank in my heart, far beyond any categories imaginable...."




This story is written based on someone I really love and admire, just because looking at him trying so hard in everything he does sometimes breaks my fragile heart.... :(

The Shoe

It was only a stupid shoe, under a stupid coffee table, opposite a stupid shoe rack. The old, brown-coloured, worn-out shoe was just there, staring at her. It was stupid, wasn't it? A shoe couldn't stare, that's for sure. But why did she feel that the particular shoe was looking at her, laughing and jeering at her weakness, or her inability to do such an easy thing. Why? Why was it so damn frustrating?

It was a simple task to do, yes, a really simple task for a thirty year old to complete in a jiffy. "Just pick up the shoe under the coffee table and arrange them nicely in the shoe rack," Mom said gently. Mom knew that her daughter, bless her, had a weak heart but was stubborn enough not to use that as a reason for not doing anything. "A weak heart does not mean that I need to be feeble, too!" An ordinary, yet powerful sentence that had became her mantra lately. Especially when she realized that she was indeed getting weaker day by day and the sharp pain in her chest was way more frequent than before.

To be honest, she did managed to gather all the shoes though. Mom's comfy Sholl sandals, her sister's stylish Jimmy Choo's platforms with studded killer heels, her brother's smelly Nike gym sneakers and Dad's brown Oxfords, only the left shoe though, because somehow the right one just wouldn't budge. She tried to use the killer heels, hoping that those heels would also work wonderfully as emergency hooks but to no avail. She bent down again, as low as she could and still the shoe was out of reach. Her fingers brushed lightly at the tip but grabbing it was still far beyond possible.

When the sharp pain slowly pierced through her heart like a small needle prick, her eyes started to water. Was it because of the pain? Or was it more towards her personal frustration of her inability to do something so simple? At thirty, she was supposed to be at the prime of her existence, the highest point of her young life, the epitome of youth and vitality but her current state was worse than her 78-year-old grandmother, who would have been able to bend down and pick up the shoe before she could say 'please'.

Mom was shocked to see her crying silently with all the shoes stacked up around her, holding a Jimmy Choo's studded platform. She gave her daughter a warm hug, kissing the top of her head, saying in her most kind, motherly voice that it was alright if she felt tired and it was okay if she felt that this task was too difficult. Then, quick as lightning, Mom hooked that particular shoe from under the table with her left foot and at the same time arranged all the shoes impeccably in the shoe rack swiftly, in a blink of an eye... 

"There, all done now. It's quite easy to do, right darling?" she said happily yet carefully, knowing how sensitive her daughter was to simple, nitty gritty things like this but it didn't matter though since her precious little angel was already clutching her chest, gasping for air, tears streaming down her cheeks and her dead, lifeless eyes looking at her lovely mom with such despair,losing the last tiny shred of hope she had left... 

One of the stories I wrote when I was warded somewhere in August, I think... and it was written out of despair with a tinge feeling of helplessness... hmmm... ..